Ben's Thread

[OfficerCrash]

A young man stands in a sparse room. Today is not his birthday, but he did just move into this new huge ass house. He hasn't finished unpacking yet, so it seems you can't just randomly glean all his interests from the decor. This young man deserves a name.....a name like.......

[aquakoifish]

>scrooge mcduck

[OfficerCrash]

Really now? Is that so? Wanna take a second guess there, Sherlock?

[Matthewkind]

>Benjamin Merrill

[OfficerCrash]

Yeah that sounds about right. Probably a Jr. in there somewhere. After all, you were named after a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything. Speaking of that, the family's all out roving the neighborhood, probably harassing all your new neighbors with introductions and baked goods. You're not into that kind of thing. Eyeing your BOX OF BELONGINGS you realize you should probably unpack a little.

[aquakoifish]

>make some epic pie that is pie flavored first and then you can unpack.

[OfficerCrash]

Oh yeah. You'll get right on it with your handy portable pie cooker and ingredients that you keep on you at all times. No wait, that's stupid. You begin to unpack.
===>

[Matthewkind]

>Proceed Unpacking!

[OfficerCrash]

You commence with the unpacking. You set aside your prized STONE SHISA STATUE that your father brought back from Korea. You also begin to adorn your walls with all manner of posters. Some of your personal heroes and favorite movies and such. Also a dreamcatcher you made yourself. Your faithful dog Holly wanders into the room, suffering from a case of the badly drawns.

[xsera]

> Play with Holly.

[OfficerCrash]

You begin the time honored tradition of rolling around on the floor with an adorable canine mirthfully. Much snuffling and horseplay ensues.

[xsera]

> Alright, now put her to sleep.

[OfficerCrash]

Done. Your already wild hair is a bit tussled. You briefly wonder what to do now.

[aquakoifish]

>get annoyed by your brother

[OfficerCrash]

Your idiot of a brother is thankfully off terrorizing the neighborhood. You are alone in the house. Sweet sweet solitude.

[aquakoifish]

>check your laptop

[OfficerCrash]

-- mathematicalPhilosopher [MP] began pestering pragmaticSentinel [PS] at 20:44 --
MP: Ben.
PS: Hm?
MP: I had a pseudo-epiphany!
MP: You.
MP: Won't.
MP: Believe.
MP: This.
PS: .......
PS: You seem rather confident in my disbelief as ironic as that sounds.
MP: So I was thinking about the fundamental laws of our universe, when something kept being repeated. Out of everything - evolution, the creation of ideas, the propagation of organisms, the finiteness of infinity... All of those things...
MP: Something big kept popping back up.
MP: The dialectic process, man!
PS: ........
PS: What.
PS: The who with the what now?
MP: The dialectic process is the process by which two opposing ideas come together to form an altogether new concept. This could be when a mother and a father come together and link their gametes together in the 'crossing-over' stage of meiosis to create an altogether different being, or it could just be when two different philosophies find common ground and come to a consensus on a new philosophy com
MP: pletely independent of its predecessors.
PS: .......
PS: Matt, what did we learn about brevity?
MP: A + -A = B.
PS: Any retard can throw out giant words Matt
MP: No, man. Look past the linguistics for a moment and check this shit out.
PS: It takes a truely intelligent man to condense complex ideas without losing meaning or potency.
MP: It's profound, my nigga!
PS: .....
MP: Yes, I know. I read Einstein quotes, too.
PS: .....Einstein quotes?
PS: .....did I inadvertantly quote Einstein?
MP: Any intelligent fool can make things more complicated.
MP: Yes.
PS: ......
MP: In fact, the second part of that was what you said.
PS: You know what this means right?
MP: See, you've got the genius thing down, too.
MP: YOU'RE EINSTEIN.
MP: But basically its when two ideas come together and a new idea is formed.
MP: So far, I can't find a single case where this doesn't apply.
PS: .....so like.....synthesis.
MP: Yes.
MP: Synthesis.
MP: The dialectic process is a process of synthesis!
MP: However, it's more like juxtaposition, I guess.
MP: Because you need two opposites.
MP: Man and woman.
MP: Optimism and Nihilism.
MP: Et cetera.
PS: Hm.
PS: I see.
MP: Ben, this is really exciting.
MP: I don't know why.
PS: So at what point does this get you laid?
MP: ...
MP: Get laid?
MP: Like, have sex?
PS: Yes Matthew, that would be the implication of the term "laid".
MP: Sexual intercourse brings about meiosis, which in turn perpetuates my theory of the dialectic process by means of two parent cells forming a new, individual cell!
PS: Oh for fuck's sake.
MP: A NEW THEORY: THE INCESSANT APPLICATION OF THE DIALECTIC ON EVERYTHING.
PS: You're turning into Kieran!
MP: I need to go, I feel like dancing.
PS: MODERATELY
MP: Ahahahahahahaha!
PS: Seeya later screwball.
-- pragmaticSentinel [PS] ceased pestering mathematicalPhilosopher [MP] at 20:54 --

[seriousPerfectionist]

> Captchalogue the Shisa statue. It doesn't belong on the floor!

[OfficerCrash]

You captchalogue the SHISA STATUE in your sylladex by way of your NATO PHONETIC ALPHABET fetch modus. You love having a military supply-guy for a father. You get all sorts of wonderful surplus toys. The SHISA STATUE is logged under SIERRA.

[seriousPerfectionist]

> Pester some chums.

[OfficerCrash]

Oh hey it's Danielle and her nearly indecipherable chatter. Hm? Is that who you think it is pestering you?

[OfficerCrash]

Ellie is totally your partner in crime. Everybody better clear out the way. Now what?

[PAYATTENTIONIDIOT!]

>MAKE RANDOM FISH FACES!!!

[OfficerCrash]

You proceed to make retarded faces for no particular reason aside from being extremely silly. Why are you so prone to such idiocy? It's almost as if you're being ordered around by some kind of despotic cunt. But that's just silly. Kinda like you.

[seriousPerfectionist]

> Retrieve Ol' Red.

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